My conclusion is that I’m a person that had no roots. I mean this in a relational way, not physically, although I did move a number of times growing up. The key was, the moves were at critical times. I started at new schools in the 7th grade, the 10th grade, and the 11th grade. These were not generally little changes in my life, but big moves to places I really did not know anyone. At each stop, I had to drop in and assimilate to a new environment. I had to meet new people and navigate new waters. If you’ve done that a few times, you’ll probably understand the following to be true. With each new place you drop into, there is a part of you that wants this to be the final landing place, a place you can sink into and get to know people and really make a place for yourself. However, at the same time, you are forced to realize that this too might be just a stopping point and who knows where next year will be. This in turn causes a person, at least it did me, to really try and gather a lot of superficial friendships and one, or maybe two, that is a little deeper. For me, I would generally latch onto someone else who was relatively new and we would connect pretty well as outsiders. Looking at the grades I moved, I realize now it’s because in school transition years, 7th grade and 10th grade, are years where kids start new school chapters living on the merits of the prior. For example, many 10th graders just starting high school, come into it with a group that they were successful with and had history with from junior high. When you start a new school though, it’s just that, new. No history, only what you make it up to be. The more you move, the more you make up your history and really the less you take root with people around you. What’s the point really, I’ll just be moving again, is the general thought. At least I believe that was the way I thought.

Don’t misunderstand, I do have friends still from most of the time periods, but I can say that the relationships are generally not that tight. I have nothing really to look back on and build from. My times with people were sounds bites rather than conversations. What does that mean now and why is that an issue now? Well, really I guess it is more or less just me trying to understand what makes me the person I am and what I can do to help my kids be more of a person than I am. I am a relationship averse person. I don’t seek them out, I have a hard time putting effort into them, I don’t always understand the necessity for them. In my mind, I have my wife and my boys and that’s really all I need, or at least that’s what I tell myself. I have begun to realize though that in looking at my life, it’s a fairly lonely place to be. Now, don’t worry too much about me, I’ve accepted who I am and the shortcomings I’ve put in place, but I want more for my boys.

I have many prayers for my boys and they range from the simple things such as finding success to the more personal things such as prayers that they prepare themselves wisely for their chosen mates. I pray that they have a heart and empathy for others and for those less privileged. I pray that they will be happy in the things they choose to do. I have not prayed however, that they make roots and relationships that will last them a lifetime. I have not prayed for the friends they have now to be strong and lifelong. Friends that can help them, encourage them, chastise them, etc… I should do that. The older I get and the more I look back, I realize that this is as important as anything else I pray for. Perhaps I should pray that I can find a relationship as well, I’m not sure that it’s possible at this point, but for my kids, I think it’s the right thing to do.

Our church has an annual can drive to collect canned food for the needy and today was the day we went door to door to collect. We were assigned a group that consisted of the Van Ess clan and a couple others. Dallas and David walked the neighborhood with an older gentleman from our church and it was really an awesome thing for their mom and I to watch. We have always tried to teach our kids to talk to adults by looking at them and not mumbling. Certainly not like their dad who is the mumbling king. Just watching them walk and talk to the people on our team was really neat. Of course Dalton had the best time of all of us. I truly believe that he has no greater joy than walking up to a stranger and talking to them. This afternoon presented him an opportunity to go to all these new houses and meet all these new people. How can anyone turn down such a smiling enthusiastic boy?!!

The games are fun and winning is just as much fun, but the true joy in life, for a parent, is seeing your kids do things that are eternal and giving and reflective of all the time spent talking to them about values. It couldn’t have been a more blessed weekend!!

That said, this is the last election that Dallas will not take part in. I can’t believe that, but it’s true. So, it’s my responsibility to start teaching him what I think a good voter is and what they should do. The beauty of our election process is that every so often, we get to physically voice our opinion by selecting a candidate to put into office. If I don’t like the one there, I have the right to pick a new one. I can vote with a party or I can vote for an issue, it’s up to me. Generally I have a pretty good idea who I’ll vote for in a given election, at least for the higher offices. The fun part though is voting for the people you know little about. I love to read the election guide that tells me a persons story and affiliation and other things about them. It’s fun to read and decide.

I think this time though, I’ll have Dallas help me with it and let him have some input on who is chosen and go through the process. I think he’ll enjoy that and it will be something that helps him later. I can remember when I was young, probably around 12 or so, my mom was involved in the governors campaign in Arkansas. She was on the committee to elect Frank White who was running against Bill Clinton at the time. We went to meetings and rallys all around and by the time election day rolled around, we were in a fever pitch. I can clearly remember watching the results roll in that night and was overjoyed when White actually defeated Clinton in something of an upset. Since that day, I’ve always enjoyed watching the political shows leading up to elections and all the demagoguery that surrounds them. I think it will be fun to go through this with my son now.

I would also encourage everyone who has the right to vote to stop and do the same. It’s your chance to be part of the process and to take part in what is your right and what is also your obligation.

Really, for me, it’s only been in the past 3 years or so that I have really started to love watching each of my boys play in their sports. Don’t misunderstand, I have always enjoyed watching them play and very rarely have missed a game. But the passion is different. I’d probably tell you that it was because they are playing at a level now that is more fun to watch. Depending on the day, I might also tell you that it’s because they are getting older and there are only a limited number of chances left to watch them play. The truth is likely somewhere in the middle. All I know is that on game days, I spend time at work just counting down to leaving to go watch them play. If you know me, you’ll understand the personal change that statement means.

There are so many emotions that come into play when watching them play, but that’s a conversation for another day. Suffice to say, pride is what mostly comes to mind and really, I’m proud that they are just taking part, and maybe secretly for that world class save.